Reinventing the Holidays: Finding Joy in New Traditions

The holiday season is a time when almost everyone has some longstanding holiday traditions that they love. For the residents of Acacia Village, new chapters of life are being written every day, and some of those long cherished annual rituals can be profoundly affected by significant life changes from year to year. Even retirement itself can impact family traditions. Extended families change their location or dynamics making a visit less convenient. Even a family losing a loved one since last year can significantly affect how we spend our holidays.

While these changes can sometimes cast a shadow on the holidays, making old traditions feel suddenly difficult or hollow, this season should be, and absolutely can be, joyful. The key is to be proactive and give yourself permission to reinvent the holidays for the life you are leading now.

The Impact of Life’s New Chapters

For decades, many of us followed a well-worn holiday script: hosting the entire family, coordinating a major meal, or traveling across the country. But retirement, with its gift of time, often coincides with other shifts.

• Retirement: The relief of stepping back from professional life can also mean a loss of the office holiday party or the annual neighborhood potluck that defined your routine. The freedom from a rigid work schedule also means children and grandchildren may have adopted new traditions that don’t involve the original family home.
• Changing Family Dynamics: As children move, marry, and start their own families, their holidays naturally gravitate towards hosting in their own homes and hectic schedules. This is good, it’s a beautiful progression, but it can leave retired couples or individuals feeling less engaged with the holiday celebrations.
• Grief and Loss: The absence of a beloved spouse or family member is perhaps the most difficult change to cope with. An old tradition performed without them can highlight the loss, making familiar rituals more painful than comforting.

It is completely normal to mourn the traditions that no longer fit. Acknowledging and accepting this feeling is the first, and most important, step to moving forward.

Proactively Planning a Joyful Season

The good news is that the desire for connection, warmth, and celebration remains. At Acacia Village, you have a unique opportunity to shape a new season of joy, free from the exhaustion and pressure of your former role as “The Host.”

For Couples: Create Your Own Small-Scale Magic

Retirement means a simpler, less stressful holiday is possible.

• Elevate the Everyday: Instead of coordinating a feast for 20, focus on a luxurious, smaller celebration for two. Make one of those beloved family recipes, splurge on a catered main dish from one of many fine restaurants in the area, or commit to a nightly hot cocoa and holiday movie marathon.
• Become the Seasonal Tourists: Use your time to enjoy the local seasonal offerings without the stress of hosting. The Adirondack Railroad offers a Polar Express journey from Utica’s historic Union Station, The Munson offers holiday specific exhibits, this year it’s a Victorian Yuletide; or see what’s showing this year at the Stanley Theatre. 
• Adopt a “New Book” Tradition: In Iceland they have a tradition called Jólabókaflóð, (yo-la-bo-ka-flowth), which means “Christmas Book Flood.” It’s celebrated by exchanging a new book on Christmas Eve with a friend or loved one. Then you can spend the evening reading quietly together.

For Individuals: Finding Connection and Purpose

If you are celebrating alone, the Acacia Village community provides wonderful opportunities for connection.

• Start a Brand New Tradition: Traditions have to start somewhere. Try something new outside of the typical holiday celebration. In Japan, many people embrace a playfully nontraditional holiday dinner like fried chicken or Chinese food. Be creative and thoughtful 
• Honor a Loved One: A life well lived will be filled with loved ones who are no longer with us. By incorporating a simple, non-overwhelming ritual to honor a lost loved one can make the season more meaningful. In some countries and Native American traditions a place is set at the table for loved ones in our past. 
• Embrace Your Community: Take advantage of  seasonal activities, shared meals, and social events here or locally. Volunteering your time and energy is an ideal way to celebrate the season and connect with your surrounding community. 

The holidays are an opportunity to be grateful for our past, engaged in the present, and keeping our horizons broad in the future. By being proactive, decide what you want to keep, what you want to modify this holiday season, and what you want to release. Happy Holidays from Acacia Village!